Inauguration Migraine

I’m at the end of my second day of a migraine. It’s subsided a little bit which is how I’m sitting in front of a bright screen with feeling like dying. My head is still throbbing though. My headaches relate to my level stress. I get a stress headache from sleeping poorly and clenching my jaw too tight. Then when I’m unlucky it will explode into a debilitating migraine. Besides listening to the back catalog of various true crime podcasts at a low volume, there’s nothing good to say about migraines. The entire month has been stressful. I wrote earlier about tackling depression with the autistic guy I care for. Right after that I received a stress inducing letter. It was a notice of a coming inspection. One of the oddities of working as a live in caregiver is that you live in public housing without being on public housing. A person on disability benefits relies on food stamps and housing benefits along with their disability. Rather than receiving a single payment which would make more sense. As a caregiver I can live in the apartment of someone on public housing. I’m not expected to pay rent which is a great benefit to my job. The downside is that you live in an apartment that must follow the rules of public housing. I don’t mind for the most part. It does mean that you have to allow an inspector in every couple years to ensure your apartment is up to the HUD standards. An inspector is a massive invasion of privacy. Even if they’re not, strictly speaking, investigating you. The prospect left me anxious as hell. When the time came my apartment passed the inspection without a problem. The inspection was two days ago, that afternoon I developed this wonderful headache. That left me wondering what stress brought on this headache. There are a few possibilities. The state of the world is making anxious. So is another meeting I’ll be having soon. I could detail the awfulness that is Betsy DeVos, Steve Mnuchin and on and on. Or the Russian interference or intelligence community de-legitimatizing a president angle. But consider Rick Perry. The man literally didn’t know what the Department of Energy did when Trump appointed him. They manage nukes. That shit is terrifying. Even if you don’t think it’s likely even someone as crazy as Trump would hit the nuke button. Hitting the button because you’re a moron isn’t any better than doing it on purpose. That said, I do have a personal anxiety bothering me. The disadvantage of relying on the social safety net for work is that it’s always under siege. That means your income fluctuates on a yearly basis and it’s impossible to make any sort of plans. This year, it appears, the hours I work will be cut. They’ll assess he needs fewer hours. Not because he needs less care. Two years ago they increased the hours of care they assessed each person needed, but they didn’t line up long-term funding for those hours of care. Now they’ve realized it’s a problem. So it’s likely that along with Trump being a terrible president I’ll be working less soon. It’s a crescendo of awful. Luckily it’ll hit it in a couple weeks. Once I do I’ll either be able to start looking for a second job or adjust my already meager budget. The first six weeks of 2017 have been and will be terrible for me. This brings me back to my migraine. Looking for work while Trump attempts to gold plate shitty Republican policies doesn’t bode well for me and I have a migraine for my troubles.


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