I’m tired again today, a little before noon I went to the store and bought the stuff for eggnog and nuts and bolts, then I proceeded to make them. I could also make cookies today, but like I said I feel like shit so I’m not going to do that unless the Blazer game tonight goes especially poorly and I turn it off early. I’ve been debating moving my desk out into the living room of my apartment and I think I’m going to do it soon. The primary reason I’m finally going to make the change is that I’m giving the guy I care for a board game for Christmas, so we’re going to need a place to sit and play, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while. A desk out here would allow me to run Plex with the screen to my computer turned off, long story as to why that doesn’t work for me now, which would be nice and I’d kind of like to turn my room into a place where I only sleep and get dressed so not having the desk in there would make it that much easier for that to be true. The problem is that the exercise bike is currently sitting right where the desk would go and I don’t really feel like moving it to the dining room which would really be the best place for it. I’m used to the bike where it is now, so I don’t feel like moving it. I don’t use the dining room for anything other than storing the guy’s bike, so my apprehension isn’t about preserving the dining room. I’m just really comfortable with my exercise routine right now and the bike being where it is seems like it’s part of that. I know rationally that the location of the bike in the house is irrelevant, but in my mind it does. My plan is to designate one day a week as our board game day where we spend two or three hours playing a game since I think that’s the kind of duty I should do and it would help to socialize the guy I care for in a way. I don’t know, I’m sure my plans will go awry somehow but for now that’s my plan. That means I really do need to either make the dining room comfortable for playing games or I need to just go ahead and move the desk. The moving the desk strategy seems best, so I think I’m just going to go ahead with it, but that leaves me waffling on what to do with the bike. On the one hand I can just sort of stuff the bike and the desk in the small nook of the living room that isn’t covered by the rug and used for watching television and doing stuff like writing this or I can just go ahead with moving the bike to the dining room and be done with it. I’m sure if I move the bike I’ll eventually adjust to it, but I’m really anxious about doing anything to fuck with my exercise routine. I have to exercise. I read in the New York Times in May or June about what happened to the Biggest Loser contestants after the show ended and most of them ended up gaining a bunch of weight back. I’m desperate to avoid that fate and part of the argument one of the articles makes is that people who lose a bunch of weight have slower metabolisms long-term so I’d either have to eat less than I’d like to to maintain my weight or I have to continue exercising. I already eat just under 2000 calories a day despite weighing 175 pounds, being 6’2″ and doing seventy minutes of exercise seven days a week. With that I’m only maintaining my weight not dropping. The metabolic rate equations suggest a normal person at my height and weight with my level of activity should be able to eat five or six hundred more calories than I do every day, so if I were to stop exercising I’d have to drop my daily calories down to 1500 which is just absurd. I could could deal with that when I was losing weight, but doing that for my entire life just seems entirely unworkable. It’s hard as hell to drink or eat socially with such a low calorie limit. Those are two of the best parts of life, so cutting calories that low is a no go for me. All that means I’m going to continue exercising for good reasons and I really should just get over my silly excuses and move the bike into the dining room. I know I have to do it, but I really don’t fucking want to. I don’t have any good or even bad reasons I can enunciate not to do it, but it doesn’t feel right and sometimes that’s enough. I realize now this kind of deliberation is the kind of thing that would lead perfectly into the political points I’ve been thinking about today, but I really am feeling lazy so I probably won’t actually write the post. There’s something there with my environment changing and climate change.
I’ve been thinking about cynicism, the environment, and Trump today. It seems that this year has been an especially good one for cynics. Our expectation of the worst is really paying off in such a shitty year. Even someone as cynical as I am is kind of shocked by how obviously terrible Trump is going to be for the environment. Obviously with the Republicans winning seemingly everything I didn’t expect any good environmental policies over the next four years. And since most of what Obama has been able to do has been through executive actions I expected those to be rolled back too. All in line with my wider cynicism that humans are incapable of solving a global problem of the commons like global warming and ultimately we’ll only do something when it’s too late. That said, Rex fucking Tillerson and Scott Pruitt are a little on the nose for even my expectations. It’s not the policies that will end up emanating from their running the State Department and the EPA that I find shocking, that was pretty clear with Trump winning, it’s the idea that Trump doesn’t even give enough of a shit to hide those awful policies behind bland bureaucrats and Orwell-esque names like the Clear Skies Initiative. The entire Russian hacking kerfuffle is distracting Democrats and mainstream outlets like the Times from showing how bad Trump will be for the environment, but he’s making it blatantly clear and there’s a disgusting warm glow when you’re justified in your cynicism.