Another late post, I don’t want this to become the habit, dashing off some tiny of bullshit at the end of a long day, but obviously I’m not entirely in control of my schedule. I work when there’s work to do and today there was quite a bit of work to do. It all started with a rather mundane thing, I wash brushing my teeth when my Dad called. He wanted me to come help him get a Christmas tree and to set up a divinity scene he cut out of wood. I don’t believe in god or particularly enjoy Christmas, but I don’t mind helping out and I try to let everyone else have their joy since I know how hard it can be to have any. That ended up taking up about an hour of my day and completely set my plan for the day off kilter. I got home from helping with that and had to immediately head off to the bank and to a few stores to run errands and do a little shopping. I got home about ninety minutes later than I had planned this morning, but I just pushed ahead with the next step of my day. I wanted to try making fudge the old fashioned way one more time since it didn’t turn out right yesterday and that ends up taking about an hour and a half, granted a lot of it is just waiting, but still by the time I was done with that I had more shit to do. I suppose at some point I should acknowledge that I spent a lot of time making food, but the purpose of this blog isn’t really to talk about food. I’ve been making tons of treats lately because my Mom puts together boxes of candies and gives them out to people she knows at her church and I’m always looking for an excuse to make something sweet without having to actually eat it so I’ve been making tons of cookies and candies; the best thing I’ve made is hazelnut brittle, so if you enjoy making candy definitely give that a try. After making the fudge I had another request to make donuts from the guy I’m a caregiver for, so unless there’s a good reason not to I usually take his requests. That meant more time in the kitchen, enough that it feels like I didn’t actually get out of the kitchen until around seven tonight. Between fudge, donuts, and dinner I spent the entire afternoon making foods and listening to podcasts which wasn’t so bad, but by the time I finally had the chance to sit down I realized just how exhausted I was. I also realized that pretty much every bit of information that I heard on the podcasts had just slipped straight through my mind, so I don’t really have anything to write about tonight. I suppose on some level that’s how life continues to be banal despite the chaos.
We all have work tasks, family responsibilities, friends, social lives, or some ungodly combination of them and by the time we’ve done all that we’re tired and we’ve missed how chaotic things really are. I’m probably only here writing because I find a weird joy in following politics to a degree that most people don’t and I don’t really do much outside of work because I’m constantly some combination of too anxious and depressed to do anything that involves going anywhere and dealing with anyone. I’m sure it’s easy to look down of people that don’t follow the news, who don’t actually have a sense of what’s happening in the world, but honestly I understand it. It’s fucking tiring to just stay afloat in life let alone do anything beyond that. I’m sure there’s a degree of willful ignorance to not following things, to believing patently ridiculous fake news stories, but considering I’m sitting here alone having done a fraction of what most people end being responsible for in their daily lives and I’m completely exhausted to the point of both not knowing and not caring what’s happening I understand. I’m not going to be quite so busy tomorrow, hopefully, so I’m going to make up for my ignorance of today then, but some people have to work and work and care and care and they never have time to know much of anything. I suppose my problem is that those people end up getting blamed for someone like Trump being elected, they’re called ignorant or stupid, but in reality people like that just don’t vote. They can’t get off work, they’re definitely not flushing away good money paying for a babysitter just to vote, the problem people, the Trump voters aren’t so poor, aren’t so busy. The excuse for their ignorance isn’t that they’re busy or exhausted it’s that they find it comforting to believe the lies of a man like Trump; sometimes he comforts them because they’re racist or xenophobic, sometimes it’s because our culture has unhealthy relationship of admiration for people with money, and sometimes it’s because they’re afraid and they have a authoritarian personality type. The white working class is taking a lot of shit in the fallout of this election, but ultimately the problem is that our society doesn’t have the capacity to talk about class honestly. Just because someone doesn’t have a college degree or a job in the city doesn’t mean they’re the same as my neighbors who work minimum wage jumping between fast food places and convenience stores. The white working class doesn’t have the money or the time to vote, so people who aren’t all that working class end up taking that label among the electorate. Trump winning isn’t the result of understandably ignorant poor folks just not knowing how the world really works, it’s the result of people who should know better preferring to help themselves at the expense of others and a culture that is fundamentally flawed in how it perceives the morality of wealth, xenophobia, and racism.
Apologies for the grammar and general lack of editing, I really am fucking exhausted.