Last night I ended up having to drive to the store. The guy I care for wanted to buy some beer which left me standing awkwardly in the store apparently doing nothing but ultimately making sure he made through checkout without running into any problems. I came home from the store and saw that Mitt Romney just experienced an even more awkward moment than I had. That picture is perhaps the clearest visual evidence of just how vindictive Trump is, the joy in his smile is the smile of a man who knows he’s in the clear after killing a man and being charged with murder; the smile I think we all know Robert Durst had when he got away with dismembering that guy in Texas. Besides realizing last night the numerous similarities between Trump and Durst; inherited wealth from developer father, obvious grossness and lack of gravitas, etc, I’ve been thinking about the call to not normalize Trump. I don’t really remember normalizing being a word that was common in our collective lexicon before election night, so it seems worth evaluating whether a word that’s growing exponentially in use and emotional power actually means anything. I’m not an expert of everything that’s ever happened, obviously, but it seems that whether something becomes normalized or not isn’t really related to collective or individual will. Whether something is normal is related to how regularly it occurs and Trump being Trump, a shallow, evil, narcissistic asshole, is going to consistently happen and be in the public eye. So it will be normal because things that are common are normal; mass shootings, another evil, have unfortunately been normalized to the point that it takes an especially disgusting target or excessive number of causalities for us to even notice at this point. Similarly, we’re not going to avoid normalizing Trump just because he’s evil. What we can do is make reminding everyone that Trump is a rapist, racist, xenophobic, ignorant, narcissist asshole also normal. The problem with making that normal is that there’s an overabundance of respect for the notion of civility superseding everything among the establishment. Thus it will be hard to make calling Trump’s evil evil as common as Trump being himself will be. You can make a very strong case against civility, but whether it’s a strong case or not the deference to civility is the problem not the fact that Trump’s actions will become, unfortunately, normalized.
I mentioned yesterday I’ve been feeling ill, I ended up feeling better last night and woke up this morning feeling mostly fine; fine being relative, my depression and anxiety never leave. Recovering from being sick has brought back most of my inhibitions about posting things I write online. I try to write a thousand words a day, but I generally don’t post what I write because it seems pretty worthless. I’ve tried contextualizing my daily activities in a wider context, but I don’t know if that’s really reasonable. I don’t know if I’ll end up posting this, but I might as well continue writing it. The end of the month means I’m pretty close to broke, so I’ve been trying to find things around the apartment to occupy my time. I found a recipe last night that claims it’s for butter free brioche which may actually be an oxymoron but I figured what the hell, I’ve got time to kill and the ingredients so I might as well try it. It’s currently sitting on my counter cut into donuts. They’re supposed to be rising, but don’t really seem to be. so in an hour or so I’ll try my hand at frying donuts for the first time. I imagine like most things in life the first time I try it it will go poorly, but if I do it a second time I may actually get it to work. That’s basically the entirety of my day, experimenting with a new dough recipe. Talk about normalizing, before I read a few articles on how easy making pizza is I never would’ve tried something like this, now I find it entirely normal to experiment with different recipes for breads and things like donuts. It’s normal for me, but I imagine it’s not for most people. Because I work with dough at least once a week, usually twice, it’s basically normal to do something like this. Experimenting with making donuts on a unremarkable day isn’t something that I consciously tried to normalize, just as we’re not going to try to normalize Trump, but because I work with dough fairly often it’s entirely normal. Similarly, we’re going to wade through Trump’s bullshit every day and it will eventually seem normal, so we have to make sure the antidote to Trump’s awfulness, the awareness, is just as normal.